Practicality and Proverbs
by Weasley's Revenge
Summary: "Sooner or later we all quote our mothers." –Bern Williams TIVA oneshots based on Jewish/Italian/American proverbs.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** Similar to "Alphabet Soup" in style but with a less rigid system. I will rotate using Jewish/Yiddish, Italian, and American proverbs all of them will be Tiva, but not in any logical order. The first quote is a blanket quote or the entire fic And the second quote is the actual proverb.

"**Sooner or later we all quote our mothers." –Bern Williams**

Proverb: Jewish. "A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return."

"What are you worried for? He does not speak English. He is but a body guard. Now get me my weapons." Ziva's voice was authoritative and masked in a heavy Spanish accent as she spoke to the group of marines they were busting.

"Of course, I just need to go de-hydrate." The marine's tone could only be described as a slow drawl—clearly not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

"I'm sure there's a big pile of sand somewhere." The words were out before Tony realized he's said them.

:.:.:.:

"Tony! Can you never be quiet! You almost got us killed!" She was furious. In fact, she was beyond furious. She was livid. Her amber skin had taken on a blotchy patchwork of red around here cheeks as she paced in the flashing blue and red spread by the ambulance lights and berated him. "I was to handle all of the talking and you were supposed to _stand _there. No words, but you just had to make some stupid reference to some stupid movie—"

"Hey now, _Jarhead_ is a classic, and I'm sorry that the idiot Marine said he had to go "de-hydrate" it's a reflex Ziva. You know the thing that made you start Rambo-punching the rest of them!"

"My reflex saved our asses. Yours made them attack us."

"Well maybe next time you should take McGeek, or maybe you should try to let me work it out before you start punching them. Or maybe I should I don't know _speak English_ like we discussed at the planning meeting." His face had turned an impressive shade of purple as he stood to face her.

"Tony, in Israel we have a saying. 'A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return'. In Mossad, it is drilled into us. Never speak without thought. You should be able to adapt and _control yourself_."

"Well sorry, I'm not some steel butterfly who can do no wrong. Maybe you should have stuck to the plan instead of telling them I was only a hired gun."

"My story made them feel safer."

"Until you started punching them. Is there some Israeli saying about punches too?"

"Yes, punch first and hard." Her eyes were flinty as she dared him to challenge her.

"You made that up, and you lied to protect me." He fought fire with fire the acid in his voice making what was really a compliment into an insult.

"I did no such thing. I lied because it was better for us at the time."

"Now you're letting words go without thought. You forgot that there's no us without me. And pulling stunts like that gets people killed."

"I did not 'pull a stunt'!" She weighed her options in her head before deciding to concede this argument no matter how much it pained her. "Fine, I did it to protect you are you happy now? You pig. I admitted it."

"See, sweetcheeks, was that so hard. Admitting that you actually like me, and want to keep me around." He smiled as the color started to recede from her cheeks leaving them rosy.

"It was excruciating."

They bent in to kiss each other, but they heard the universal sign to knock it off from Gibbs. "Oi! You two done playing Grab assey yet?" To himself he muttered something about newly-weds and stupid fights.

**AN:** My case of Strep has turned into Scarlet Fever, and I want to pull my hair out. I'm going to be blotchy on the first day of school. Ugh. Anyway review please more to come soon. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Spoilers for 7X01 "Truth or Consequences".

Proverb: Italian. "He that jokes confesses."

It was always his way of dealing with hard things. He would crack a joke to lighten the mood, make some stupid comment that would ease the tension just a little bit. That had become his job—breaking the tension. So he was in Somalia trying to avenge the death of the woman he had never confessed his love for. Trying to make up for his ignorance months later.

He joked his way through the entire interrogation making one wisecrack after another, letting the truth behind the jokes cleanse him of his transgressions. His father had always said "You can tell a lot about a person by what they are willing to joke about. People generally joke about the things they care about most." Tony joked about Gibbs' love for coffee when he really meant that he would miss it, and he said Tim had the heart of a lion because he really thought the younger agent was brave.

In truth, he never meant to make it out alive. He meant to die in the same piece of hell he had condemned her to, but things never turn out like he imagined them. Instead his entire plan was blown apart because she was alive, and even though he wanted to say he was sorry, and he wanted to kiss her until she forgot that she hated him, he just made another joke. "How was your summer?" And when she asked him why, he told her it was because he couldn't live without her.

Behind all of the bravado was the solitary truth that he loved her that he would die for her. He joked his way through the hardest day of his life because that was how he confessed. He joked because it was the only way to say what he knew he meant. He joked because it was how he said "I love you."

**AN: **If you are following the travesty that is my health, I would like to inform you that it was not Scarlet Fever, but instead an adverse reaction to penicillin so after a shot where the sun don't shine and a day in the ER I am on my way to recovery. :)


End file.
